


New Start

by AgentStannerShipper



Series: tumblr ficlets [43]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Amnesia, Getting Together, M/M, tss compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 00:59:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17457578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentStannerShipper/pseuds/AgentStannerShipper
Summary: Harry remembers something.





	New Start

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompts: “I won’t lose you too.” and “I fell in love with you, not them."

Things are different now, Harry notes. Not really better or worse, per se, but definitely different. The easy banter that they once had stutters in the wake of Harry’s memories returning, a slower process than Ginger promised, the little details still slotting into place around the framework he got back initially.

“It’s complicated,” seems to be Merlin’s new favourite phrase. Complicated is the word Merlin uses for why their friendship is struggling, for why he’s still alone after all these years, and for why he doesn’t want to seize on Harry’s new motto of letting love into his life and not putting all his attention into work. It takes Harry longer than he would like to understand why.

He doesn’t remember the kiss until almost a year after he gets his memories back.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He barges into Merlin’s office, and Eggsy and Merlin both look up in surprise. Eggsy takes one look at the expression on Harry’s face and books it out of there, leaving Harry standing in front of Merlin, arms crossed, eyebrows raised.

Merlin swivels to face him, looking impassive. “Why didn’t I tell you what?”

“We kissed.”

Merlin blinks, and his voice wavers a bit when he says, “Aye.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Merlin sighs, “It was one kiss, Harry, not a proposal. And then you got shot, and then you didn’t remember me, and I didn’t want to push for something in case I came off as taking advantage of you. Besides. We’ve all lost enough. I didn’t want to ruin a friendship too.”

“We’ve lost plenty,” Harry agrees. “I’ve lost my eye, my house, my memories – at least temporarily, most of my friends, and all respect for my former employer. However, I _won’t_ lose you too.”

Merlin looks wary, and Harry presses, “Yes, it was one kiss. But if you recall, and you should, considering your memories were never impaired, there was a definite implication of more kisses later, and probably at least one more discussion about forming a relationship.” In all fairness, he had just woken up from a coma at the time and then the world had gone to shit in more ways that one, but he can distinctly recall Merlin telling him that, should Harry be interested, when everything blew over they could go out on a proper date.

Harry wants that date.

Merlin sighs, “It was over two years ago, Harry.”

“So you’re saying that you’re not interested anymore?” Harry deflates.

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Merlin says. “Jesus, do you have any idea how long I’ve been in love with you?” He says it plainly, and Harry wishes he could say his heart skipped a beat at the admission, but it doesn’t.

“About as long as I’ve been in love with you,” he answers. “We were just too blind to see it. And you’re telling me that, now we’ve actually got our heads out of our arses, you don’t want to _do_ something about it?”

“I want to,” Merlin says, “but it’s not just us we have to think about. There’s Kingsman-“

“Chester and the rest of the bigots are gone, and it’s not like having Tilde makes Eggsy a worse agent. I rather think he’s better for her.”

“-and your family will absolutely despise me-“

“ _I_ fell in love with you, not them, so their opinion isn’t really relevant.”

“-and I’m a fucking mess of a middle-aged man desperately trying to cling to his sanity in a world that has nearly ended twice in less than a decade. You don’t want that, Harry.”

“Says who?” Harry arches his eyebrows. “I want you, Merlin. I want to be with you, to love you, to work through the fucking mess that we both are with you. So, if you’re done throwing mediocre excuses at me, you can either agree that we’ve been absolute idiots and kiss me, or you can say no again and I will walk out that door and pretend that this conversation never happened.”

There’s silence, heart-breaking silence, and Harry doesn’t dare to breathe for fear of missing Merlin’s response.

Merlin kisses him.


End file.
